Things we take for granted

It's not unusual for me to have random thoughts. One of these thoughts is about if Allah would take back something from my body or the five senses, which one would I be okay with to lose. By being okay means that I won't mind so much about not having it. As a result of some more random thinking, I came up with these:

# I definitely hope that I do not lose my eyes and the sense of sight. Especially because I need them to read. Although there is the invention of Braille, I doubt that each and every single book in this world has its Braille version. But that's not it. I definitely absolutely do not want to lose them because then I won't be able to see the colours in this world, beautiful sceneries, beautiful paintings. The thought of me not being able to draw anymore is so......sad. I am so grateful to still have my eyes.

# So, I thought owh maybe I would be okay to lose my hearing. Maybe it will even feel good because the world becomes silent....and calm. But I changed my mind again when I remembered music and songs that I really liked to listen to again and again. And also the different languages that I love to hear people talk with...Japanese, Malay with various dialects, Korean, British English, Irish accent and my grandmother's language...Jawa. So scratch that, I definitely don't want to lose my hearing.

# Next I thought about being mute. That would be nice I think. Since people won't think of me as a weirdo when I am quiet. Lots of people ask me this question:
Kenapa senyap je, ada masalah ke.
Takdelah, takde ape-ape nak cakap, so senyap je la.
After having this two line conversation with me, they'd usually come up with their own conclusion which will be either of these: 'she's weird', 'something's wrong with her' or 'sombongnye, ko kenape?'.

In case the person who had experienced this type of conversation with me is reading this, please I beg you, please trust me. I have no problem or grudge against you. I m just being myself who is too lazy to use her brain to be able to talk.

# I could not lose my hands. I do most of my daily chores with it especially eating. No...no...I can't survive without my hands. Owh I also need them to drive. So then is it ok if I don't have my legs but just one of it, the left one because I don't need that to drive.

But, what I am experiencing now made me realised that those thoughts sounded so much like I am bragging to God. Astaghfirullahalazim...

Today Allah only took a small part of what was given to me. It is so challenging I don't know how much longer could I withstand this test.....What's the test you asked?......

I couldn't smell. Although perhaps at some moments you would wish you couldn't smell, moments like your friend who had constipation for a week farting in your room.

It's only been 1 and a half day that I couldn't smell. During this time, I couldn't taste the food that I am eating. So, I was just stuffing my mouth to survive, it felt like munching dirt. This morning, when I opened the refrigerator, I saw that someone put a drink from last night in a container . I called it a drink because I couldn't figure out whether it's coffee or tea after drinking it. I tried hard smelling it but still I failed to identify what it really is. I was furious about this, so I grabbed a container of chocolate thinking that perhaps I could taste them since it always taste so good. This time it felt like munching melted dirt.

So, i am looking forward for this stuffy runny nose to go away quickly and recover my smelling sense A.S.A.P. Most importantly, I would never take for granted anything that I have and really hope not to lose it. Alhamdullillah for everything that I have today.